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The Ninth Day

"Since I have been associated with the production of a dinner, I
have had my eyes opened as to the complicated nature of the task,
and the numerous strings which have to be pulled in order to ensure
success," said the Colonel; "but, seeing that a dinner-party with
well-chosen sympathetic guests and distinguished dishes represents
one of the consummate triumphs of civilisation, there is no reason
to wonder.  To achieve a triumph of any sort demands an effort."

"Effort," said Miss Macdonnell.  "Yes, effort is the word I
associate with so many middle-class English dinners.  It is an
effort to the hosts, who regard the whole business as a mere paying
off of debts; and an effort to the guests, who, as they go to
dress, recall grisly memories of former similar experiences.  It
often astonishes me that dinner-giving of this character should
still flourish."

"The explanation is easy," said Van der Roet; "it flourishes
because it gives a mark of distinction.  It is a delicious moment
for Mrs. Johnson when she is able to say to Mrs. Thompson, 'My
dear, I am quite worn-out; we dined out every day last week, and
have four more dinners in the next five days.' These good people
show their British grit by the persistency with which they go on
with their penitential hospitality, and their lack of ideas in
never attempting to modify it so as to make it a pleasure instead
of a disagreeable duty."

"It won't do to generalise too widely, Van der Roet," said Sir
John.  "Some of these good people surely enjoy their party-giving;
and, from my own experience of one or two houses of this sort, I
can assure you the food is quite respectable.  The great
imperfection seems to lie in the utter want of consideration in the
choice of guests.  A certain number of people and a certain
quantity of food shot into a room, that is their notion of a
dinner-party."

"Of course we understand that the success of a dinner depends much
more on the character of the guests than on the character of the
food," said Mrs. Sinclair; "and most of us, I take it, are able to
fill our tables with pleasant friends; but what of the dull people
who know none but dull people? What gain will they get by taking
counsel how they shall fill their tables?"

"More, perhaps, than you think, dear Mrs. Sinclair," said Sir John.
"Dull people often enjoy themselves immensely when they meet dull
people only.  The frost comes when the host unwisely mixes in one
or two guests of another sort--people who give themselves airs of
finding more pleasure in reading Stevenson than the sixpenny
magazines, and who don't know where Hurlingham is.  Then the sheep
begin to segregate themselves from the goats, and the feast is
manque."

"Considering what a trouble and anxiety a dinner-party must be to
the hostess, even under the most favouring conditions, I am always
at a loss to discover why so many women take so much pains, and
spend a considerable sum of money as well, over details which are
unessential, or even noxious," said Mrs. Wilding.  "A few flowers
on the table are all very well--one bowl in the centre is enough--
but in many houses the cost of the flowers equals, if it does not
outrun, the cost of all the rest of the entertainment.  A few roses
or chrysanthemums are perfect as accessories, but to load a table
with flowers of heavy or pungent scent is an outrage.  Lilies of
the valley are lovely in proper surroundings, but on a dinner-table
they are anathema.  And then the mass of paper monstrosities which
crowd every corner.  Swans, nautilus shells, and even wild boars
are used to hold up the menu.  Once my menu was printed on a satin
flag, and during the war the universal khaki invaded the dinner
table.  Ices are served in frilled baskets of paper, which have a
tendency to dissolve and amalgamate with the sweet.  The only paper
on the table should be the menu, writ plain on a handsome card."

"No one can complain of papery ices here," said the Marchesa.
"Ices may be innocuous, but I don't favour them, and no one seems
to have felt the want of them; at least, to adopt the phrase of the
London shopkeeper, 'I have had no complaints.' And even the ice,
the very emblem of purity, has not escaped the touch of the dinner-
table decorator.  Only a few days ago I helped myself with my
fingers to what looked like a lovely peach, and let it flop down
into the lap of a bishop who was sitting next to me.  This was the
hostess's pretty taste in ices."

"They are generally made in the shape of camelias this season,"
said Van der Roet.  "I knew a man who took one and stuck it in his
buttonhole."

"I must say I enjoy an ice at dinner," said Lady Considine.  "I
know the doctors abuse them, but I notice they always eat them when
they get the chance."

"Ah, that is merely human inconsistency," said Sir John.  "I am
inclined to agree with the Marchesa that ice at dinner is an
incongruity, and may well be dispensed with.  I think I am correct,
Marchesa, in assuming that Italy, which has showered so many boons
upon us, gave us also the taste for ices."

"I fear I must agree," said the Marchesa.  "I now feel what a
blessing it would have been for you English if you had learnt from
us instead the art of cooking the admirable vegetables your gardens
produce.  How is it that English cookery has never found any better
treatment for vegetables than to boil them quite plain? French
beans so treated are tender, and of a pleasant texture on the
palate, but I have never been able to find any taste in them.  They
are tasteless largely because the cook persists in shredding them
into minute bits, and I maintain that they ought to be cooked
whole--certainly when they are young--and sautez, a perfectly plain
and easy process, which is hard to beat.  Plain boiled cauliflower
is doubtless good, but cooked alla crema it is far better; indeed,
it is one of the best vegetable dishes I know.  But perhaps the
greatest discovery in cookery we Italians ever made was the
combination of vegetables and cheese.  There are a dozen excellent
methods of cooking cauliflower with cheese, and one of these has
come to you through France, choux-fleurs au gratin, and has become
popular.  Jerusalem artichokes treated in the same fashion are
excellent; and the cucumber, nearly always eaten raw in England,
holds a first place as a vegetable for cooking.  I seem to remember
that every one was loud in its praises when we tasted it as an
adjunct to Manzo alla Certosina.  Why is it that celery is for the
most part only eaten raw with cheese? We have numberless methods of
cooking it in Italy, and beetroot and lettuce as well.  There is no
spinach so good as English, and nowhere is it so badly cooked; it
is always coarse and gritty because so little trouble is taken with
it, and I can assure you that the smooth, delicate dish which we
call Flano di spinacci is not produced merely by boiling and
chopping it, and turning it out into a dish."



  Menu -- Lunch

  Minestrone alla Milanese.  Vegetable broth.
  Coniglio alla Provenzale.  Rabbit alla Provenzale.
  Insalata di pomidoro.  Tomato salad.

  Menu -- Dinner.

  Zuppa alla Maria Pia.  Soup alla Maria Pia.
  Anguilla con ortaggi alla Milanese.  Eels with vegetables.
  Manzo con sugo di barbabietoli.  Fillet of beef with beetroot sauce.
  Animelle alla parmegiana.  Sweetbread with parmesan.
  Perniciotti alla Gastalda.  Partridges alla Gastalda.
  Uova ripiani.  Stuffed eggs.